I am not racist. But I am.

I do not hold hate in my heart. But I was born into a culture that oppressed non-whites and still have a lot of unconscious bias bred from that culture. In the same way, I have a great deal of unconscious bias toward the very poor.

At work, people have described me as color-blind as I hire people based on my estimate of their ability to do the job and not based on what they look like. I place the same expectations on everyone that holds the same job responsibilities. As “progressive” as I am, I still have unconscious bias.

When I pass someone on the street, if they are in a hoodie, I am on guard. If they are dressed in a way that I would judge as homeless or severely impoverished, I am on guard and avoiding them. I would like to note that my heart bleeds for them; it’s just that I am afraid of what I have judged likely to be desperation.

We need to first understand this as a culture and society before we can move past it. Sometimes we do racist things and behave in a racist manner because we have an unconscious bias. It is not because we have hate in our hearts towards people who look a certain way. It is because our eyes see and associate fear and danger inappropriately and/or disproportionately. We need to be able to acknowledge that even though it did not come from a hateful space within ourselves, it is hateful to those who are on the receiving end of it – because it is oppressive. We need to be open to their point of view and how it is hateful to them, then we need to acknowledge their view by changing our actions and words and, most importantly, reactions to incorporate our new understanding of how what we were doing or saying was biased (racist) even as our hearts are not racist.

This week, review your reactions to other people and situations and ask yourself if there is any unconscious bias in them. Be on high alert for places where you have unconscious bias. Identifying such bias is the first step in shifting it. You have a big heart. Let it beat for everyone.